dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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