I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
