I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
