You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
