Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
