yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
