there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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