youre lurking in front of me
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
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