he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Randomize
