im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
a search helicopter?!
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Randomize