Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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