i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize