Swine flu. Run for my life!
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
