just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
