i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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