Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
