operation harelip BJ is a go
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
