It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
