i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
