Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
