if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
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