Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Randomize
