why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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