Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Randomize
