Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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