you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
I woke up under a house in Key West
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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