Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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