I need help removing her.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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