how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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