is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Randomize
