the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
