yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
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