I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
