Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
