haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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