i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize