3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
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