I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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