I am midnight drunk by noon
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
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