Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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