I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
