He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
