So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
