1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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