How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
