i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
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