is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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