Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Randomize
