Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Randomize