we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
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