i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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