She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
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