if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
