when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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