you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
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