I'm really into asian looking animals
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
