When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Randomize
