I just saw a hot homeless man
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
God gave him joint rollers for hands
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
