Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
